Intimacy vs. Isolation: Forming Intimate Relationships With Others (2024)

Intimacy versus isolation is the sixth stage of Erik Erikson's theory of psychosocial development, which happens after the fifth stage of identity vs role confusion. This stage takes place during young adulthood between the ages of approximately 19 and 40.

The major conflict at this stage of life centers on forming intimate, loving relationships with other people. Success at this stage leads to fulfilling relationships. Struggling at this stage, on the other hand, can result in feelings of loneliness and isolation.

Intimacy vs. Isolation: Forming Intimate Relationships With Others (1)

Overview

  • Psychosocial Conflict: Intimacy versus isolation
  • Major Question: "Will I be loved or will I be alone?"
  • Basic Virtue: Love
  • Important Event(s): Romantic relationships

What Is Intimacy?

Erikson believed that it was vital to develop close, committed relationships with other people. As people enter adulthood, these emotionally intimate relationships play a critical role in a person's emotional well-being.

While the word intimacy is closely associated with sex for many, it encompasses much more than that. Erikson described intimate relationships as those characterized by closeness, honesty, and love.

Romantic and sexual relationships can be an important part of this stage of life, but intimacy is more about having close, loving relationships. It includes romantic partners, but it can also encompass close, enduring friendships with people outside of your family.

Benefits of Intimacy

People who are successful in resolving the conflict of the intimacy versus isolation stage have:

  • Close romantic relationships
  • Deep, meaningful connections
  • Enduring connections with other people
  • Positive relationships with family and friends
  • Strong relationships

People who navigate this period of life successfully are able to forge fulfilling relationships with other people. This plays an important role in creating supportive social networks that are important for both physical and mental health throughout life.

How Social Support Contributes to Psychological Health

What Causes Intimacy or Isolation?

Intimacy requires being able to share parts of yourself with others, as well as the ability to listen to and support other people. These relationships are reciprocal—you are sharing parts of yourself, and others are sharing with you.

When this happens successfully, you gain the support, intimacy, and companionship of another person. But sometimes things don't go so smoothly. You might experience rejection or other responses that cause you to withdraw. It might harm your confidence and self-esteem, making you warier of putting yourself out there again in the future.

Isolation can happen for a number of reasons. Factors that may increase your risk of becoming lonely or isolated include:

  • Childhood experiences including neglect or abuse
  • Divorce or death of a partner
  • Fear of commitment
  • Fear of intimacy
  • Inability to open up
  • Past relationships
  • Troubles with self-disclosure

No matter what the cause, it can have a detrimental impact on your life. It may lead to feelings of loneliness and even depression.

Isolation

  • Poor romantic relationships and no deep intimacy

  • Few or no relationships with friends and family

  • Weak social support network

Consequences of Isolation

Struggling in this stage of life can result in loneliness and isolation. Adults who struggle with this stage experience:

  • Few or no friendships
  • Lack of intimacy
  • Lack of relationships
  • Poor romantic relationships
  • Weak social support

They might never share deep intimacy with their partners or might even struggle to develop any relationships at all. This can be particularly difficult as these individuals watch friends and acquaintances fall in love, get married, and start families.

Loneliness can affect overall health in other ways. For example, socially isolated people tend to have unhealthier diets, exercise less, experience greater daytime fatigue, and have poorer sleep.

Loneliness and isolation can lead to a wide range of negative health consequences including:

  • Cardiovascular disease
  • Depression
  • Substance misuse
  • Stress
  • Suicide

If you are having suicidal thoughts, contact theNational Suicide Prevention Lifelineat988for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

The Health Consequences of Loneliness

How to Build Intimacy

Learning to be open and sharing with others is an important part of the intimacy versus isolation stage. Some of the other important tasks that can play a role in succeeding or struggling at this point of development include:

  • Being intimate: This is more than just engaging in sex; it means forging emotional intimacy and closeness. Intimacy does not necessarily have to be with a sexual partner. People can also gain intimacy from friends and loved ones.
  • Caring for others: It is essential to be able to care about the needs of others. Relationships are reciprocal. Getting love is important at this stage, but so is giving it.
  • Making commitments: Part of being able to form strong relationships involves being able to commit to others for the long term.
  • Self-disclosure: This involves sharing part of the self with others, while still maintaining a strong sense of self-identity.

Importance of Sense of Self

Things learned during earlier stages of development also play a role in being able to have healthy adult relationships. For example, Erikson believed that having a fully formed sense of self (established during the previous identity versus role confusion stage) was essential to being able to form intimate relationships.

People with a poor sense of self tend to have less committed relationships and are more likely to experience emotional isolation, loneliness, and depression.

Such findings suggest that having a strong sense of who you are is important for developing lasting future relationships. This self-awareness can play a role in the type of relationships you forge as well as the strength and durability of those social connections.

How to Overcome Isolation

If you are struggling with feelings of isolation, there are things that you can do to form closer relationships with other people:

Avoid Negative Self-Talk

The things we tell ourselves can have an impact on our ability to be confident in relationships, particularly if those thoughts are negative. When you catch yourself having this type of inner dialogue, focus on replacing negative thoughts with more realistic ones.

Build Skills

Sometimes practicing social skills can be helpful when you are working toward creating new relationships. Consider taking a course in social skill development or try practicing your skills in different situations each day.

Determine What You Like

Research suggests that factors such as mutual interests and personality similarity play important roles in friendships. Knowing your interests and then engaging in activities around those interests is one way to build lasting friendships. If you enjoy sports, for example, you might consider joining a local community sports team.

Evaluate Your Situation

What are your needs? What type of relationship are you seeking? Figuring out what you are looking for in a partner or friend can help you determine how you should go about looking for new relationships.

Practice Self-Disclosure

Being able to share aspects of yourself can be difficult, but you can get better at it through practice. Consider things you would be willing to share about yourself with others, then practice. Remember that listening to others is an essential part of this interaction as well.

A Word From Verywell

Healthy relationships are important for both your physical and emotional well-being. The sixth stage of Erikson's psychosocial theory of development focuses on how these critical relationships are forged. Those who are successful at this stage are able to forge deep relationships and social connections with other people.

If you are struggling with forming healthy, intimate relationships, talking to a therapist can be helpful. A mental health professional can help you determine why you have problems forming or maintaining relationships and develop new habits that will help your forge these important connections.

Stage 7: Generativity vs. Stagnation

4 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

  1. Schrempft S, Jackowska M, Hamer M, Steptoe A.Associations between social isolation, loneliness, and objective physical activity in older men and women.BMC Public Health. 2019;19(1):74. doi:10.1186/s12889-019-6424-y

  2. Hämmig O. Health risks associated with social isolation in general and in young, middle and old age [published correction appears in PLoS One. 2019;14(8):e0222124].PLoS One. 2019;14(7):e0219663. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0219663

  3. Mushtaq R, Shoib S, Shah T, Mushtaq S. Relationship between loneliness, psychiatric disorders and physical health? A review on the psychological aspects of loneliness.J Clin Diagn Res. 2014;8(9):WE01–WE4. doi:10.7860/JCDR/2014/10077.4828

  4. Campbell K, Holderness N, Riggs M. Friendship chemistry: An examination of underlying factors.Soc Sci J. 2015;52(2):239-247. doi:10.1016/j.soscij.2015.01.005

Additional Reading

Intimacy vs. Isolation: Forming Intimate Relationships With Others (2)

By Kendra Cherry
Kendra Cherry, MS, is an author and educational consultant focused on helping students learn about psychology.

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Intimacy vs. Isolation: Forming Intimate Relationships With Others (2024)

FAQs

What is the difference between intimacy and isolation? ›

Intimacy is where deep relationships can be formed because people are vulnerable to adulthood, from young adulthood to later on in life. Isolation is when people don't foster relationships, and they socially isolate themselves, consequently leading to feelings of loneliness.

What is the importance of intimacy vs isolation? ›

Isolation may prevent you from developing healthy relationships. It may also be the result of relationships that fell apart, and can be a self-destructive cycle. If you were harmed in an intimate relationship, you may fear intimacy in the future. That can lead you to avoid opening yourself up to others.

Which stage of human development has been pointed out as intimacy vs isolation? ›

Intimacy versus isolation is the sixth stage of Erik Erikson's theory of psychosocial development, occurring between the ages of 18 and 40. The theme of this stage is intimacy, which refers to forming loving and intimate relationships with others.

How do you resolve your crisis of intimacy versus isolation? ›

Important Things to Do During the Intimacy versus Isolation Stage
  1. Share more of yourself with others while still preserving a strong sense of identity.
  2. Become more intimate. ...
  3. Make commitments to other people. ...
  4. Show sincere concern for the needs of others and act on these concerns.
29 Apr 2020

How does isolation affect relationships? ›

Partners that have sufficient social connections can turn to these in times of stress, but isolated couples end up venting their frustrations against each other. Furthermore, socially isolated couples are more likely to break up than those who are socially connected.

What is intimacy in a relationship? ›

Intimacy in a relationship is a feeling of being close, and emotionally connected and supported. It means being able to share a whole range of thoughts, feelings and experiences that we have as human beings.

What does Erikson mean by intimacy? ›

Intimacyrefers to one's ability to relate to another human being on a deep, personallevel. An individual who has not developed a sense of identity usually will feara committed relationship and may retreat into isolation. It is important tomention that having a sexual relationship does not indicate intimacy.

What are examples of intimacy? ›

Physical intimacy is about touch and closeness between bodies. In a romantic relationship, it might include holding hands, cuddling, kissing, and sex. Your relationship doesn't have to be sexual or romantic to have physical intimacy. A warm, tight hug is an example of physical intimacy with a friend.

Why are our intimacy needs so important? ›

Research evidence tells us that the presence of intimacy in our lives — feeling understood, accepted and cared for — strongly influences our overall physical and emotional well-being.

What stage of psychosocial development Where are you in State of exploring personal relationships developing closeness and committing relationship with other people? ›

Stage 6: Intimacy Versus Isolation

As young adults, we are motivated to explore personal relationships and our desire to form intimate relationships. In the sixth stage of Erikson's psychosocial development theory, young adulthood takes place between the ages of 18 and 40.

What is intimacy psychology? ›

The theoretical definition for intimacy is this: a quality of a relationship in which the individuals must have reciprocal feelings of trust and emotional closeness toward each other and are able to openly communicate thoughts and feelings with each other.

What are the main ideas of Erikson's theory of psychosocial development? ›

Answer and Explanation: The main idea behind Erikson's theory of psychosocial development is that our personality develops in stages, and at every one of these stages a psychosocial crisis unfolds in a way that determines our personality development based on the outcome.

What is intimacy in adulthood? ›

Intimacy refers to a close feeling shared between 2 people, based on knowledge of and familiarity with the other person. It includes emotional, social (based on shared experiences), and physical intimacy (eg, touching, cuddling, sexual intercourse).

What happens when a person is isolated? ›

Mental and physical health are interconnected. Social isolation's adverse health consequences range from sleeplessness to reduced immune function. Loneliness is associated with higher anxiety, depression, and suicide rates.

How does isolation affect socialization? ›

Research has shown that even when lonely people do have the opportunity to socialise, the feeling warps their perception of what's going on. Ironically, this means that while it increases their yearning for social contact, it also impairs their ability to interact with others normally.

What are the psychological effects of isolation? ›

Impact of Social Isolation on Your Mental Health

Suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts. Less restful sleep. ‌Decreased ability to regulate eating. ‌More stress, especially in the morning.

What is a relationship without intimacy called? ›

If no physical intimacy or sex exists between you and the other person, it is a platonic relationship—even if the desire is there. Platonic Relationship. Involves deep friendship. People involved may or may not have a desire for physical intimacy.

What are the 4 types of intimacy? ›

Intimacy refers to a level of closeness where you feel validated and safe. In relationships, four types of intimacy are key: emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual. If you feel you fear intimacy of any type, or your loved one does, seeking the support of a therapist may help you.

What makes an intimate relationship healthy? ›

Healthy relationships involve honesty, trust, respect and open communication between partners and they take effort and compromise from both people. There is no imbalance of power. Partners respect each other's independence, can make their own decisions without fear of retribution or retaliation, and share decisions.

What is an example of Erikson's theory in real life? ›

REAL-LIFE EXAMPLES OF ERIKSON THEORY AT WORK

And integrity is the key to trust. If your company claims to be green and to love the environment, for example, but your employees know you secretly dump waste into the ocean, they question your integrity. And that means they can't really trust you.

What are Erikson's 8 stages of human development? ›

Summary of Erikson's stages
StageConflictAge
5Identity vs. confusion12 to 18 years
6Intimacy vs. isolation18 to 40 years
7Generativity vs. stagnation40 to 65 years
8Integrity vs. despairOver 65 years
4 more rows
28 Apr 2020

Does identity precede intimacy? ›

Erikson stated that healthy identity development during adolescence is a precursor of intimacy in romantic relationships during emerging adulthood.

What is the highest form of intimacy? ›

Level Five: My Needs, Emotions and Desires

Level five is the highest level of intimacy. It is the level that requires the greatest amount of trust. If I can't trust that you won't reject me, I'll never be able to share my true self with you. Unlike the other levels, there is no escape at this level.

What is the most intimate act? ›

To feel unity with your partner, you can make sex a sacred act of love. Moreover, there are other loving acts on a physical level. e.g. kissing, cuddling, or holding hands. Holding hands especially can become the most intimate act of love.

What are the 7 types of intimacy? ›

Let's check the other types of intimacy:
  • Physical Intimacy. ...
  • Aesthetic Intimacy. ...
  • Recreational Intimacy. ...
  • Intellectual Intimacy. ...
  • Spiritual Intimacy. ...
  • Emotional Intimacy. ...
  • Sexual Intimacy.
26 Mar 2015

What happens when you lack intimacy? ›

The first issues you're likely to encounter stemming from lack of intimacy in your relationship are communication problems. If you don't feel like you can connect with your partner in a deep sense, you might stop going to them when you feel sad, deflated, or unhappy, or when you have a problem.

What makes a man feel connected to a woman? ›

In plain language: Men often feel most loved by the women in their lives when their partners hug them, kiss them, smile at them, and explicitly offer gratitude, praise, and words of affection. Men also feel loved and connected through sexuality, often to a greater degree than women do.

What does Erikson mean by intimacy? ›

Intimacyrefers to one's ability to relate to another human being on a deep, personallevel. An individual who has not developed a sense of identity usually will feara committed relationship and may retreat into isolation. It is important tomention that having a sexual relationship does not indicate intimacy.

What is intimacy in adulthood? ›

Intimacy refers to a close feeling shared between 2 people, based on knowledge of and familiarity with the other person. It includes emotional, social (based on shared experiences), and physical intimacy (eg, touching, cuddling, sexual intercourse).

What is intimacy psychology? ›

The theoretical definition for intimacy is this: a quality of a relationship in which the individuals must have reciprocal feelings of trust and emotional closeness toward each other and are able to openly communicate thoughts and feelings with each other.

What stage of Erikson's psychosocial theory where the psychological crisis intimacy vs isolation occurs? ›

Stage 6: Intimacy Versus Isolation

In the sixth stage of Erikson's psychosocial development theory, young adulthood takes place between the ages of 18 and 40. During this time, major conflict can arise as we attempt to form longer term commitments outside of our family, with varying degrees of success.

Why are our intimacy needs so important? ›

Research evidence tells us that the presence of intimacy in our lives — feeling understood, accepted and cared for — strongly influences our overall physical and emotional well-being.

What was the main idea behind Erik Erikson's theory of psychosocial development? ›

The key idea in Erikson's theory is that the individual faces a conflict at each stage, which may or may not be successfully resolved within that stage. For example, he called the first stage 'Trust vs Mistrust'. If the quality of care is good in infancy, the child learns to trust the world to meet her needs.

What is an example of Erikson's theory in real life? ›

REAL-LIFE EXAMPLES OF ERIKSON THEORY AT WORK

And integrity is the key to trust. If your company claims to be green and to love the environment, for example, but your employees know you secretly dump waste into the ocean, they question your integrity. And that means they can't really trust you.

What is the most intimate act? ›

To feel unity with your partner, you can make sex a sacred act of love. Moreover, there are other loving acts on a physical level. e.g. kissing, cuddling, or holding hands. Holding hands especially can become the most intimate act of love.

What makes a man feel connected to a woman? ›

In plain language: Men often feel most loved by the women in their lives when their partners hug them, kiss them, smile at them, and explicitly offer gratitude, praise, and words of affection. Men also feel loved and connected through sexuality, often to a greater degree than women do.

What lack of intimacy does to a man? ›

Lack of sex can lead to mental health issues, especially when the man feels that he cannot perform well in bed and satisfy his wife's sexual needs. This can lead to the psychological effects of sexless marriage. Depression and anxiety can become common consequences of a sexless marriage.

What are the 4 types of intimacy? ›

Intimacy refers to a level of closeness where you feel validated and safe. In relationships, four types of intimacy are key: emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual. If you feel you fear intimacy of any type, or your loved one does, seeking the support of a therapist may help you.

What are examples of intimacy? ›

Physical intimacy is about touch and closeness between bodies. In a romantic relationship, it might include holding hands, cuddling, kissing, and sex. Your relationship doesn't have to be sexual or romantic to have physical intimacy. A warm, tight hug is an example of physical intimacy with a friend.

What are the 4 types of relationships? ›

There are many different types of relationships. This section focuses on four types of relationships: Family relationships, Friendships, Acquaintanceships and Romantic relationships.

What are Erikson's 8 psychosocial stages? ›

Summary of Erikson's stages
StageConflictAge
5Identity vs. confusion12 to 18 years
6Intimacy vs. isolation18 to 40 years
7Generativity vs. stagnation40 to 65 years
8Integrity vs. despairOver 65 years
4 more rows
28 Apr 2020

What are the 8 stages of Erikson's theory? ›

A Closer Look at the Eight Psychosocial Stages
  • Overview of Erikson's Stages of Development.
  • Trust vs. Mistrust.
  • Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt.
  • Initiative vs. Guilt.
  • Industry vs. Inferiority.
  • Identity vs. Confusion.
  • Intimacy vs. Isolation.
  • Generativity vs. Stagnation.
3 Aug 2022

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