ISFP relationships (2024)

ISFPs are warmhearted, gentle people who take their commitments seriously, andseek lifelong relationships. They are very private people, who keep theirtrue feelings and opinions reserved or hidden from others. This may cause themto constantly defer to their partners in their intimate relationships, which maycause problems if their partners are not extremely aware of the ISFP's feelings.Some ISFPs who are in the habit of not expressing their needs and feelings findthemselves in situations throughout their life where they feel overshadowed, overlooked, or even "tread upon" by others. Highly practical and cynical by nature, these feelingsmay cause the ISFP to become bitter, and to either give up on their relationships, or to start using their relationships for their own personalgain. Although this problem is observed sometimes in the ISFP type, it does not seem to be present in those ISFPs who consistently express their feelingsto those closest to them. These ISFPs have a very positive, warm outlookon life and love, and are not as likely to find themselves in relationshipswhere they are taken for granted or taken advantage of. ISFPsgo to great lengths to please their partners. They're very loyal andsupportive, with a deep capacity for love. They detest conflict and discord,and highly value being seen and understood for who they are. They needspace to live their lives in their own unique way, and will respect other'sneed for space.

ISFP strengths

Each type has traits and behaviors that can strengthen their relationhips. Most ISFPs will exhibit the following strengths with regards to relationship issues.

ISFP weaknesses

The first step in overcoming our weaknesses is identifying them and recognizing them in our own behavior. Once we've done that, we begin to naturally correct our weaker behaviors in real-time. ISFPs may recognize some or all of the following behaviors that can negatively impact the health of their relationships.

"To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as the positive - to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well as to joy, fulfillment, and an intensity of consciousness we did not know was possible before." —Rollo May

ISFPs are warm and giving people, who have a depth of emotion and caringwhich is not often obvious to others, except those who know them extremelywell. They are usually intense people, who experience their emotions onan intense level. Although they may appear to be light-hearted, they arein fact extremely serious, and take their relationships seriously. Unlike other SP types, people with theISFP type desire and seek lifelong, committed relationships.

ISFPs may have a problem with communication. With Introverted Feelingdominating their personality, they are more vulnerable than most tobeing hurt. Perhaps because of this, they tend to hold back part of themselves from others, and do not always say what they think or feel.This is especially true during conflict situations, which the ISFPabhors more than anything in the world. Confrontations and arguments arevery difficult for the ISFP to deal with. They feel personally threatenedin these situations. If the ISFP falls into the habit of not communicatingtheir feelings with their partner, this could cause serious problems in therelationship over the long haul.

Sexually, the ISFP approaches intimacy with complete attention, seriousnessand depth. They experience lovemaking through their senses, and welcomethe chance to interact with their partner at this level. They are not likelyto express their feelings verbally, believing that actions speak louderthan words.

More on type and sexuality

ISFPs need positive affirmation to be happy and feel good about themselves.They need to be praised, although they are usually uncomfortable with"gushy" praise. The greatest gift their partners can give themis the expression of their affection and admiration.

ISFP compatibility

Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthyrelationship, the ISFP's natural partner is the ESFJ, or theENFJ.ISFP's dominant function of Introverted Feeling is best matched with a partnerwhose dominant function is Extraverted Feeling. The ISFP/ESFJ combinationis ideal, because the types share Sensing as their way of perceiving the world,but ISFP/ENFJ is also a good match.More on ISFP compatibility

"You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth...
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable." —Kahlil Gibran

ISFPs enjoy their parenting role, and take great pride and comfort in theirchildren. Most have a special affinity with babies and young children,and form bonds with their children when they are very young. They arevery laid-back parents, and are not likely to have highly defined expectationsof their children. They will gently guide their behavior, and suggesta particular direction, but their own respect of the individual psychewill cause them to be quite easy-going and non-demanding as parents. TheISFP is likely to treat their children as individuals, and encourage them tohave their own role in the family.

ISFPs love to have fun, and live in the current moment. All ISFPs havea bit of little kid inside themselves, and they love to play games alongsidetheir children. They're special affinity towards nature and animalsmakes them likely to lead their children in fun outdoorsactivities.

ISFPs are not likely to provide a very structured environment for their children. They are also likely to have a problem with discipliningtheir kids. The gentle manner and kind heart of the ISFP makesit hard for them to make others unhappy - especially their own children.However, structure and discipline are important for growing children. If theother parent encourages and promotes structure, and is able to administerdiscipline when necessary, the parent combination may work very well withoutthere being an obvious lack of structure. However, if the other parent isalso not strong with structure or discipline, this is an area which needsto have special attention. Growing children do not have the experienceto decide on their own the difference between Right and Wrong. They needto have barriers set down in a tangible way, to help them decide.

ISFPs like to show their love in deeds rather than words, which ismanifested in their doing a lot for their children. They may lavish themwith gifts on Christmas day, or go out of their way to do special thingsfor them.

The ISFP is a service-oriented person, who defines their personal worthin some part by how happy they make others. This is typical of peoplewith the Feeling preference. The special potential problem that ISFPsface is their service-oriented attitude combined with their habit ofnot expressing their own needs and feelings. This combination causes someISFPs to get taken for granted. If this happens frequently to an ISFP, theymay become bitter and angry. They think of themselves as victims, andmay erect barriers to keep out those who have hurt them. This may be aserious problem if the ISFP parent feels that their children are takingthem for granted. The best defense against such a situation occuringis for the ISFP to get into the habit of verbalizing and communicatingtheir needs.

ISFP parents will be loyal, dedicated and self-sacrificing to their children until they leave home. When the kids have left the nest, the ISFP willenjoy their time alone to do things for themself. If the ISFP has not allowed themselves to become victims or victimizersin their life, they will be very good parents, and will be rememberedfondly and affectionately by their children.

ISFPs tend to be protective of themselves and picky about who they choose to get close to. Thiscan give them an air of aloofness that puts off strangers, but those who know the ISFP will seetheir kind and gentle natures.ISFPs are able to get along with most of the other personality types, and enjoy spending time with others who share their interests, and who understand andaccept the ISFP for who they are. They greatly value their space andautonomy, and appreciate other's respect for that.

The ISFP is not likely to have much patience or tolerance for those whoare strongly Judging. ISFPs celebrate their own uniqueness, as well aseverybody else's, and don't appreciate being judged harshly for theirdifferences.

In work settings, the ISFP is likely to get along with most everyone, unlesssomeone inhabits their space too much, in which case sparks may fly.Generally, the ISFP is kind-hearted and generous with those they careabout, and makes a true-blue friend.