INFP relationships (2024)

INFPs present a calm, pleasant face to the world. They appear to be tranquil and peaceful toothers, with simple desires. In fact, the INFP internally feels his or her life intensely.In the relationship arena, this causes them to have a very deep capacity for love and caringwhich is not frequently found with such intensity in the other types. INFPs do not share theirintensity of feeling with anyone; they tend to be reserved about expressing theirinner-most feelings, and reserve their deepest love and caring for a select few.INFPs are generally laid-back, supportive and nurturing in their close relationships.With Introverted Feeling dominating their personality, they're very sensitive and in-tunewith people's feelings, and feel genuine concern and caring for others.Slow to trust others and cautious in the beginning of a relationship, an INFP will be fiercely loyal once they are committed. With their strong inner core of values, they are intense individuals whovalue depth and authenticity in their relationships, and hold those who understandand accept the INFP's perspectives in especially high regard. INFPs are usually adaptableand congenial, unless one of their ruling principles has been violated, in whichcase they stop adapting and become staunch defenders of their values. They will beuncharacteristically harsh and rigid in such a situation.

INFP strengths

Each type has traits and behaviors that can strengthen their relationships. Most INFPs will exhibit the following strengths with regards to relationship issues.

INFP weaknesses

The first step in overcoming our weaknesses is identifying them and recognizing them in our own behavior. Once we've done that, we begin to naturally correct our weaker behaviors in real-time. INFPs may recognize some or all of the following behaviors that can negatively impact the health of their relationships.

"To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as the positive - to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well as to joy, fulfillment, and an intensity of consciousness we did not know was possible before." —Rollo May

INFPs feel tremendous loyalty and commitment to their relationships.With the Feeling preference dominating their personality, harmonyand warm feelings are central to the INFP's being. They feel a needto be in a committed, loving relationship. If they are not involvedin such a relationship, the INFP will be either actively searching forone, or creating one in their own minds.

INFPs' tendency to be idealistic and romantically-minded may cause themto fantasizefrequently about a "more perfect" relationship or situation. They mayalso romanticize their partners into having qualities which they do notactually possess. Most INFPs have a problem with reconciling their highlyidealistic and romantic views of life with the reality of their own lives,and so they are constantly somewhat unsettled with themselvesand with their close personal relationships. However, the INFP'sdeeply-felt, sincere love for their partners and their intense dislike of conflict keeps the INFP loyal to their relationships, in spite of theirtroubles achieving peace of mind.

Unlike other types who tend to hold their partners up on a pedastal, theINFP's tendency to do so does not really turn into a negative thingin the relationship. INFPs hold tightly to their ideals, and work hardat constantly seeing their partners up on that pedastal. The frequent INFPresult is a strongly affirming, proud and affectionate attitude towardstheir partners which stands the test of time.

INFPs are not naturally interested in administrative matters such asbill-paying and house-cleaning, but they can be very good at performingthese tasks when they must. They can be really good money managerswhen they apply themselves.

Sexually, the INFP is likely to be initially slow to open up to their partners.Once their trust has been earned, the INFP will view sexual intimacy as an opportunity for expressing their deep-seated love and affection. Morethan the actual sexual act, they will value giving and receiving loveand sweet words. With their tendency to enjoy serving others, they mayvalue their partners satisfaction above their own.

More on type and sexuality

One real problem area for the INFP is their intensive dislike of conflictand criticism. The INFP is quick to find a personal angle in any criticalcomment, whether or not anything personal was intended. They will tend totake any sort of criticism as a personal attack on their character, and will usually become irrational and emotional in such situations. This can be a real problem for INFPs who are involved with persons who have Thinking andJudging preferences. "TJ"s relate to others with a objective, decisive attitudethat frequently shows an opinion on the topic of conversation. If theopinion is negative, the TJ's attitude may be threatening to the INFP,who will tend to respond emotionally to the negativity and be vaguely but emphatically convinced that the negativity is somehow the INFP's fault.

For INFPs with extremely dominant Feeling preferences who have not developedtheir Intuitive sides sufficiently to gather good data for their decisionmaking processes, their dislike of conflict and criticism can foretell doom and gloom for intimate relationships. These INFPs will react with extremeemotional distress to conflict situations, and will not know what to doabout it. Since they will have no basis for determining what action totake, they will do whatever they can to get rid of the conflict - which frequently means lashing out irrationally at others, or using guiltmanipulation to get their partners to give them the positive support that theycrave. This kind of behavior does not bode well for healthy, long-termrelationships. Individuals who recognize this tendency in themselves shouldwork on their ability to take criticism objectively rather than personally.They should also try to remember that conflict situations are not alwaystheir fault, and they're definitely not the end of the world. Conflict isa fact of life, and facing it and addressing it immediately avoids havingto deal with it in the future, after it has become a much larger problem.

INFPs are very aware of their own space, and the space of others. They value their personal space, and the freedom to do their own thing. They willcherish the partner who sees the INFP for who they are, and respects theirunique style and perspectives. The INFP is not likely to be overlyjealous or possessive, and is likely to respect their partner's privacy andindependence. In fact, the INFP is likely to not only respect theirpartner's perspectives and goals, but to support them with loyal firmness.

In general, INFPs are warmly affirming and loving partners who make thehealth of their relationships central in their lives. Although cautiousin the beginning, they become firmly loyal to their committed relationships,which are likely to last a lifetime. They take their relationships veryseriously, and will put forth a great deal of effort into making themwork.

INFP compatibility

Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthyrelationship, INFP's natural partner is the ENFJ, or theESFJ.INFP's dominant function of Introverted Feeling is best matched with apartner whose dominant function is Extraverted Feeling. The INFP/ENFJcombination is ideal, because it shares the Intuiting way of perceiving, butthe INFP/ESFJ combination is also a good match.More about INFP compatibility

"You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth...
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable." —Kahlil Gibran

INFPs are "natural" parents. They accept and enjoy the parental role, seeing itas the natural extension of their value systems. They make use of the parentalrole for developing and defining their values further, and consider it their taskto pass their values on to their children. They take their role quite seriously.Warm, affirming, and flexible, the INFP generally makes a gentle and easy-going parent in many respects.

INFPs do not like conflict situations, and will keep themselves flexible anddiverse to promote a positive, conflict-free environment in their home.The INFP is not naturally prone to dole out discipline, andso is likely to adapt to their partner's disciplinary policy, or to rely on their partners to administer discipline with the children. In the absence ofa mating parent, the INFP will need to make a conscious effort of creatinga structure for their children to live within.

Although the INFP dislikes disciplining others, they hold strong values and will not tolerate the violation of a strongly-held belief. If they feel that their childhas truly committed a wrong, the INFP parent will not have a problem administeringdiscipline. They will directly confront the child, stubbornly digging in their heelsand demanding recourse.

The INFP parent is likely to value their children as individuals, and to give themroom for growth. They will let the children have their own voice and place in thefamily.

Extremely loving and devoted parents, INFPs will fiercely protect and supporttheir children. If there is an issue involving "taking sides", you can bet theINFP will always be loyal to their children.

INFPs are usually remembered by their children as loving, patient, devoted, and flexible parents.

INFPs are warm and caring individuals who highly value authenticity and depthin their personal relationships. They are usually quite perceptive aboutother people's feelings and motives, and are consequently able to get alongwith all sorts of different people. However, the INFP will keep their true selvesreserved from others except for a select few, with whom they will form close andlasting friendships. With their high ideals, they are likely tobe drawn to other iNtuitive Feelers for their closer friendships.

With their strong need for harmony and dislike of conflict, INFPs may feel threatened by people with strong Judging and Thinking preferences. Although they'relikely to be able to work well professionally with such individuals, theymay have difficulty accepting or appreciating them on a personal level.They generally feel a kinship and affinity with other Feeling types.

INFPs will be valued by their confidantes as genuine, altruistic, deep, caring, original individuals.

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